Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
