i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize