I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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