When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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