Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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