I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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