I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
