I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
