Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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