You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
50% drunk capacity currently
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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