just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
