It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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