you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Let's paint friendship bongs
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
