Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
