dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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