wrigley field is MILF paradise
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
