True but thats because hes a fetus.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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