In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Drunk is not a location!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
