he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
