That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
