you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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