Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Randomize
