It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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