So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Drunk is a universal language darling
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