As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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