what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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