i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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