So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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