Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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