I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize