I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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