Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize