i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
