I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize