I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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