Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize