walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
