I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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