I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
As shirtless as possible
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
