Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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