ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
