So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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