I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
