You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
