I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
