Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
