she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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