I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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