you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
