I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
