If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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