Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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