can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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