rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
