omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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