She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
