Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize