I hate your face
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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